鼓励自己1

五年同班的,可以什么都是,也可以什么都不是。

看过一篇文章,说把爱情和友情,看淡,再淡。

家人会变成最亲近的朋友。
其他人的想法,再也不重要了。

就好比,一千块,把他褶皱,踩在脚下,还是一千块,不是吗??

虽然有时候家人做了自己不喜欢的事,可是家人能保护自己。当自己觉得没有人保护自己的时候。

加油!

就,只是朋友。朋友而已。

你有资格过问吗?

当我开始慢慢不再容易生气,在无可奈何的时候,我惊觉自己。。。变了。以前什么事都追跟就底,现在慢慢会学习咽下不耐烦不公平无奈的事。有些人,不需要对他们解释一切。

是我长大了吗?

有位自称是我朋友的小姐,无缘无故和我拉远距离,看在我无钱无能力的时候离开。现在急着问我在哪里做什么,我想问,你抿自己的良心,你有资格过问我的事情吗?

没看过那么不要脸的。

不过也罢,没告诉所有事情,只是一略带过。也没什么必要和她说。反正不重要。就像当初,我对你不重要。

哈哈。
小孩们,不要那么急着要长大。长大,不好过。我们都被骗了。

重新出发

和其他三个同大学毕业的人一起到一样的医院工作。不熟。五年在一起,未必了解彼此。是喜是悲,不知道。

我只知道,我不想靠别人。靠他们。

突然觉得好寂寞。

好友说真的,真的很不容易。

目前为止, 住的地方要找找。如果拿不到宿舍。
花费,目前为止是没问题了。
只是文件很多要复印,很多要去证实。
银行那边要拿说明书,照片还要再洗洗。
明天还要打电话去问一些问题。

怎么那么多东西要做?

就像他说,你很多时间哦?想那么多干嘛?

好,就不多想了。
别人对我不好,那是他们的选择。
我人格好是我的事。
他们利用了我,我知道我自己可以决定事情。是他们的失败。不是我的损失。

突然记起, 当你被利用,你是否也在利用别人?

反思。

A ray of light

After a stormy rain, finally there's a ray of light shines through.

So many b___s rejected my apply and have to go to nearest and closest person to settle stuffs.Although nt much, still PTL,managed to pull it off :)

So far so good, continue to uphold matters into His hands :)

1.print outs
2.certify print outs
3.my offical cop(redo)
4.medical checkup
5.waiting PTM letter
6.waiting convo photos

Move on...or not?

I'm finally got placement for HOship.
Hosp Kluang it is!
Quite dissapointed that I didnt managed to get my desired hospital.My plan is quite messed up.
But its okay.Readjust my feeling, reset my plan and restart.

Other than settling my personal matter and although ...he didnt say a clear answer for me.But BFF ? Okay :) But I wont wait for u anymore.I want him to be happy.And me too!

Shared the news with people around me, pastors, aunty and some close friends and given some advices by them.Some are positive, some are quite depressing actually.Well, I want to think positive.What does happened is reality but too much worries also wont do me any good favour,right? :)

Hurm...Well personal matter set aside, I have things more important than dat.

Just wonder when will this storm end?
I know soon the rain ends and rainbow will shine.
But now, I just wanna hug myself and cry.I will pick up myself again and putting them into pieces

E-houseman

PTL, finally something good is happening...continue to uphold prayer for my desired hospital xoxo!

I miss you.

It's March 12, and I m still waiting "good news" frm KKM.Well, at least on the website saying that those who received 8 Jan-26 feb SPA offer letter will be enrolled in this e-housemen system. The email will be send to personal mailbox seems to be still in progress -..-

(ehouseman.moh.gov.my)

Well, at the meantime, of course, been bugging by other issue as well.It seems every household will have the troublemaker to give u a headache.Mine? My younger brother.
I ll keep praying for God's love and grace can touch his souls.But It seems he's the one who drifts away? Sad because I m not able to persuade/ convince my family members.

Other than that issue, having break at home too long can drive u crazy.Its like I've been stucked in the memories. My brain , my hippocampus( I assumed) recalls old memories.

I miss one of my batchmate.
I miss one of my classmate.
I miss the time we have studygroup together.
I miss the time when we talk and walk at the beach.
I miss we had lunch and sometimes dinner together.
I miss the time when we went oncall together.
I miss the time I laughed at your new hairstyle.
I miss the time when we joked about each other's appearance.
I miss the time when we fight for stupid little things.
I miss the time when we walk together in a shopping mall.
I miss the time you bought me rilakkum and I have to walk with it in shopping mall.
I miss the time when u worry and called me when Im hurting myself.
I miss the time you caress my hair in front of juniors.
I miss the time when u r hungry and I rushed downstairs n give u food.
I miss the time u pass me panadol & ponstan when i m having headache and menstrual pain.
I miss the time u encourage me when I feel I m dumb.
I miss those times.
Girl friend says, you fall in love with him.But Im clearly knowing that I wanna be your best friend and keep supporting u.

But time goes, we left untalk.U smile so bright since u left and carry on like none of these happen.
I keep quiet and drifting away and was hoping u will have happiness as I gave u too much unhappiness in ur life.

When we had graduation dinner, we never talk. When u walk away n towards the girl u admired n took photo,  I felt I was right.To leave u alone.I m a burden to u.U r happy without a friend like me.

During convocation, u smile like nothing happens.But I cant facing u. With our parents around, I just cant.And I know it will be the end of us. Its better we keep quiet and leave.Cuz I m a burden to u once.

You must be hating me so much.

I wanna say I m sorry.
And I miss you.My friend.

Too young, too dumb to realised I was once, blessed with one good friend.

Fitness diary 2015

Nothing change much for the past february & march --till now.I received my SPA letter finally.

Comes to dissapointment, I m basically have to join e-HO dat will be launch soon.

Tired of waiting.

I starting to workout at the end of January 2015 -- till now, i have bad days and good days :)

Bad days r like eating snack eg ice cream and chips late at night(I remember that particular night).Some sort of mental breakdown.And I've gone through that.Restart my workout like a beast next day.

Of course i have cheat meal sometimes within a month but not often as I done in the past which CHEAT WHOLE DAY! Cheat wholeday is not good ideas u gonna allow urself to have dat mindset "i can eat whatever I want today" and u ended up u ate whole 3,500kcal dat u need basically to lose 1kg (1kg = 3,500kcal)

I workout according to workout schedule I found on internet --12week journey.So now I 'm on my 6th week -lose 7kg by far. I follow that schedule and watch out my diet. To watch out my calories in food, Im using "myfitnesspal" -- eat at least 1200kcal to get my body , organs, cells burn up and increase my BMR...hardly but cant deny it.As u r aging, ur BMR is getting slower.But nvm, slow progress better than no progress right? Hehe :p

I come to understand is its okay to cheat once a while and take a small bite or few chips and dats it.Cuz I trained my mind "I can do it"! Kinda like brainwash XD

And yeah!!! I m finally go down to 7kg by far.Wish me luck and all the best to keep going! :) :) :)

Next time will share more bout my fitness journey!