Officially missing you

#Study mode ,hwaiting!

So many CPGs to be covered.

Here is the download link for all CPG Malaysia : http://www.acadmed.org.my/index.cfm?&menuid=67

My notes are almost covered.Now i left one seminar to present tomorrow and CPGs to cover.

I'm quite nervous actually @.@

Well, I want to do well. Although he doesn't know, but I wish he can be the motivation of study.Although now, we are far away from each other...

Although , we are never be together :'(

I know the rules, no need one to tell me.I'll walk away.

Accidentally found he is a johorian too! Proud to be state mate of him!

Aish, Im such a pabo.Why I didn't take initiative to chat with him when free time?

Just casual " where you stay? where u live in KT? Where u graduate? when is it?" bla bla bla ...

Now all the words I wanted to say is just...swallow it.

I can never have a chance to talk or see him anymore.

I allow myself to cry for 5 minutes.And that's it.Jinjja pabo ah...

I've counted how many times when we met each today.

Not by me.By him.

3.

Morning , around 8am

Saw him in the car, with his striking hair style.That's how I recognise him.Saw he's driving, a car with a plate "JXX" , hey, he's probably a johorian, yohoo! (my heart thump so loud).Confimed it's him when he parked his car.

I walk down from uni van.Saw him walk to my path. Actually , he's walking to me cuz I'm standing in front of the door =.= K,I know it's stupid. And our eyes doesnt meet, I'm glad.Cuz I'm so nervous in front of him @.@

Can't help!

Morning , around 8.30am

I'm the presenter for case presentation for BST today.Actually, specialist called him regarding administration matter.Just listen to people calling his name,imagine he's on phone, GOD , please calm my heart!

And guess what? I don't know my God, you are teasing me? He knocked and entered the room.Our eyes met and my eyes, I guessed I'm embarrased myself this morning @.@ Should I knock my head on wall right now?!

He's talking  and I'm listening.Listen quietly his voice.I tell myself , I wanted to remember you as much I can.

Look at him and hide my feelings.I want to remember the smile of yours.I knew it doesn't belongs to me though.But it'll be my strength to continue my studies :) Thanks so much for being my motivation everyday to clinic and learnt a lot from him.

Before he left the room, I captives his smile.That smile, can I just have it? only belongs to me.

11am , 1 hour before leave for lunch.

Again, the meeting was unplanned.A psy patient was on psychosis. He look after him. Just love the side of his profesionalism. Thanks to that , my motivation~

And I say , hey , goodbye!(In my heart, I leave with content heart)

As for elective posting , I'm actually quite worry about it.But as long I believe Him and I done my part , I'll just trust in Him as He never fails to provide me :)

This is the result when you are pushing yourself too far :(

But it turns out it's expired =..= (Old stock of my medicine). So I have to bear it for another 2 hours to buy it.And today went to clinic, after case presentation with Dr.K , a friendly Family Medicine Specialist ,  prescribed this : 

Aish, I should take care of my body instead spoil it =.=

K, say sorry to myself (Sorry! 90 degree bow) XD

Topic of seminar - Child & adolescent health.However, my part basically cover this --> sexual abuse in children and adolescent. Read through articles and reference book to prepare this :

Malaysia UNICEF : http://www.unicef.org/malaysia/

Rakel Family Medicine : http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41p%2BaD3cYrL._.jpg

All the best for those who are still in the "battle" , hwaiting! ^^

#AkDong musician - officially missing you : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Q1KtyPvpiY

Someone's watching over me

Found myself today, oh I found myself and ran away 

Something pulled me back, voice of reason I forgot I had 

All I know is you're not here to say what you always used to say

But it's written in the sky tonight 

So I won't give up, no I won't break down 

Sooner than it seems life turns around 

And I will be strong, even if it all goes wrong 

When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe

Someone's watching over me 

Seen that red light, and it's shining on my destiny 

Shining all the time, and I won't be afraid 

To follow everywhere it's taking me 

All I know is yesterday is gone, and right now I belong

To this moment to my dreams 

So I won't give up, no I won't break down 

Sooner than it seems life turns around 

And I will be strong, even if it all goes wrong

When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe 

Someone's watching over me It doesn't matter what people say 

And it doesn't matter how long it takes For leaving yourself and you'll find

And it only matters how true you are Be true to yourself and follow your heart

So I won't give up, no I won't break down 

Sooner than it seems life turns around 

And I will be strong, even if it all goes wrong 

When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe 

That I won't give up, no I won't break down 

Sooner than it seems life turns around 

And I will be strong, even if it all goes wrong 

When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe 

That someone's watching over, 

someone's watching over 

someone's watching over me 

Tired? Exhausted? Feeling lost?

The most scariest thing is not physically exhausted , it's mentally exhausted.

There's nothing wrong in reality , eveything turns up well.But the problem is you feel something "wrong" inside you.

I do feel it sometimes , when I feel lost  and I lost myself.

I let myself drowning into emotional moments. It's quite tiring to keep holding myself and keep guarding myself cautiously.

I let go , I'll go crazy , eating cakes , exercise and sweating , reading motivational books and travel.

Sometimes, we should let the "inner" self let out , allow ourselves to breath , of course not to say to allow yourself get engaged with drugs , pills or alcohol or other naughty stuff :p

Allow myself to rest , to be lazy , once a time. Not bad.

Do so, to continue life journey even it's tough. Everyone 's keep searching their aim of life and keep changing ,so do I :)